Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
