He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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