Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
