Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
