This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
