You can't special order awesome
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
