So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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