Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
