NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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