No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
