that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
