we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
