I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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