WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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