i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Drunk is not a location!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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