I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
