fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
