She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
