so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
