Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
