Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
