What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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