I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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