oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
