so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize