My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
