You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
