Small penises have feelings too.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize