I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
