The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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