How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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