he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
