My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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