im drinking this country out of the recession.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
