so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
