wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
