Dual....:-)
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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