you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Randomize
