i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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