I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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