I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
