All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
