Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
