38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
