in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
There are leaves in my underwear?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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