My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I just found a bag of teeth...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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