its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize