True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
