Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
