Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Welp...herpes.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
