so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
