if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
