is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I touched a dick in church today
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize