as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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