I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
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