Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
