Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
