So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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