Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
