I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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