Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
