so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
