quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize