i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
