I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize