but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
