We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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