Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
