my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
a search helicopter?!
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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