my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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