i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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