He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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