booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
honey bunches of taint.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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