I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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