this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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