ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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