You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
